RAQ (Rarely Asked Question): “So I heard about this rule today: supposedly if you are Wiccan or Pagan there is a rule that you are not supposed to tell anyone that you are witch. My baby-witch-friend said her Dad claims this is a thing. She says her Dad has been practicing 30 years. Anyone else hear that?”
Answer: Many Witches, Wiccans, and Pagans tend to be somewhat private about their practice; aka "in the broom closet." Nevertheless, I don't think there is really a "rule" that forbids anyone to never ever speak about their spiritual practice with anyone...Oh, there is something in Gardner's and Sander's writings of the BOS...I think it went something like this: “So be it ordained that no Coven shalt know where the next Coven abide, nor who its members may be—except the Priestess and Priest and Summoner. And there shalt be no connection between them save by the Summoner. So be it ordained that, not one shall speak to anyone not of the Craft, nor give any names, nor where they abide; nor in any way betray any thing to the Inquisition.”
Nowadays, of course, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.... (Yes, I could not resist a Monty Python reference.)
Your friend’s Dad likely is one of those old school Wiccans, who view their practice as “oath bound”, meaning they should not betray the trust of their coven members by chattering, like magpies, about the “details of the evening when Lady Circe drew down the Moon” to every Tom, Dick, and Mary that they bump into daily.
Neither do folks want another coven member to betray distressing and private details of the family situation involving Alzheimer’s Disease which afflicting their Mother. Such a confidence would involve private details about that should not be carelessly shared. Alzheimer's often involves family dealing with a heartbreaking spiral down into mental oblivion and bizarre behaviors like scatolia. Obviously, you should respect privacy.
Secrecy in Wicca is no longer such an extreme concern. But people are entitled to the privacy they request.
My husband and I remember the "Satanic Panic" of the 1980's. Wild rumors and outright disinformation circulated about anything related to such diverse subjects as Dungeons & Dragons, video games, Rock n' Roll music, certain movies, satanism, animal sacrivice, labor union membership, New Age philosophies, Masonry, Rosicrucians, the Catholic Church, Quakers, comic books, and hairstyles...all being part of a secret, worldwide conspiracy to overturn family values, Christianity, and moral living. Some people got harrassed and fired of this nonsense.
Because this sort of crazy paranoia can resurface periodically, many people prefer not to openly share their connection with Wicca, Witchcraft, Neo-Paganism, and other spiritual paths that are not mainstream.
You and your friend should discuss this with her father and go over some of the pros and cons of being public. There are a number of well known Pagans, Witches, etc., who are very open about what they do now. Others do not keep it secret, but keep their practice discrete.
At this time, I still choose to be discrete.
Febuary 2, 2021