Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas,
I write this letter in concern of your daughter, Aradia Moon. Please don't take this the wrong way, however, although she is obviously a very bright child and highly imaginative, she has some strange habits that I feel we should address.
Every morning as we begin class, she insists on walking around the room with her pencil in the air. She says she is "drawing the circle." I explained to her art time is after AM Circle time and to please refrain until then to do any drawing.
And speaking of art, whenever she draws a night sky, she insists on drawing three moons--two crescents and one round moon--and people dancing on the ground. I explained there was only one moon in the sky and she answered, "That's the way the picture's supposed to look."
Aradia has no problem with making friends. I always find her during outside time with her friends sitting around her in a circle. She likes to share her juice and cookies. It is nice how she wants no one to ever thirst or hunger. However, when I walked over to see what they were doing, she jumped up and told me to stop, pulled out a little plastic knife and started waiving it in front of me. I thought this a bit dangerous, so I took her to the Director's Office. She explained to the Director that she was "opening the circle" to let me in. She also said that her Mommy and Daddy always told her not to play or run with an "athame" in her hand, that she could put someone's eye out. I don't know what an "athame" is, but I'm glad she keeps it at home.
Recently, I had to stop her twice from taking off her clothes during a game of Ring Around the Rosey! By the way, what does "skyclad" mean?
As I said, your daughter is highly imaginative. Just yesterday while I was talking sternly to another child and pointing my finger at him and the awful mess he had made, he started crying. When I finally calmed him down, he told me Aradia had told him that he had better not make the teacher mad. She said I gave one of the other children chicken pox when I pointed at the red paint spill she made and then pointed at that child. I explained that things like that are a coincidence. However, it seems that Aradia had gotten him quite frightened.
Last week, when I asked children to bring in Halloween and Autumn decorations, Aradia brought in salt, incense, and her family album. When I asked her what this had to do with Halloween, she laughed. I see she has quite a sense of humor.
One of Aradia's worst habits is that she can be very argumentative. We were discussing how to be good friends and share and play nice. She stated repeatedly that we should "And it harm none, do as ye will." She will also not stop saying, "So mote it be" at the end of every Mother Goose rhyme during story time. I tried to correct her on interrupting, and Aradia got very angry. She pointed her finger at me and shouted some nonsense word.
In closing, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas, I would like to set up a parent/teacher conference with both of you sometime next week to discuss these matters. I would like to see you sooner, but I have developed an irritating rash and have a doctor's appointment tommorow afternoon.
P.S. Blessed Be. I understand this is a greeting or closing from your country that your daughter informs me is polite and correct.
Several versions of this letter home to Pagan parents have circulated through the Pagan community. I have included this version, because the little girl is named Aradia.
Aradia index page
Wiccan Humor index page